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PostPosted: Tue Jan 26, 2010 11:04 pm
SpammerSpammerJoined: Wed Aug 25, 2004 8:41 pmPosts: 4087Location: The Internet
HavocClaudia wrote:
Why, whhhy have I never seen this? Ordered it now though, as it looks like the greatest film ever made! Aah Japan!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NN0HVJ5tkIM


SALE!

I fucking love Japan.



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PostPosted: Wed Jan 27, 2010 12:11 am
User avatarBarely TolerantBarely TolerantJoined: Wed Aug 29, 2007 8:41 pmPosts: 491Location: Under a Tree
Found on sikipedia : An American, a Frenchman, an Englishman and a Pakistani are standing on top of the Eiffel Tower. The american throws a load of money over the edge. "What did you do that for?" the others ask. "We have so much money in the states that i can afford to". The Frenchman throws loads of bottles of champagne over the top and says "we have so much champagne here that i can throw as much as i like over"
The Pakistani looks at the Englishman and says "DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE!"



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PostPosted: Wed Jan 27, 2010 7:21 pm
User avatarHighly IntolerantHighly IntolerantJoined: Sat Dec 31, 2005 6:51 pmPosts: 3161Location: Near Glasgow, Scotland
1. Teaching Maths In 1970

A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.

His cost of production is 4/5 of the price.

What is his profit?

2. Teaching Maths In 1980
A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.
His cost of production is 80% of the price.
What is his profit?

3. Teaching Maths In 1990
A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.
His cost of production is £80.
How much was his profit?

4. Teaching Maths In 2000
A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.
His cost of production is £80 and his profit is £20.
Your assignment: Underline the number 20.

5. Teaching Maths In 2005
A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habit of animals or the preservation of our woodlands. Your assignment: Discuss how the birds and squirrels might feel as the logger cut down their homes just for a measly profit of £20.

6. Teaching Maths In 2009
A logger is arrested for trying to cut down a tree in case it may be offensive to Muslims or other religious groups not consulted in the felling licence. He is also fined a £100 as his chainsaw is in breach of Health and Safety legislation as it deemed too dangerous and could cut something. He has used the chainsaw for over 20 years without incident, however he does not have the correct certificate of competence and is therefore considered to be a recidivist and habitual criminal. His DNA is sampled and his details circulated throughout all government agencies. He protests and is taken to court and fined another £100 because he is such an easy target. When he is released he returns to find Gypsies have cut down half his wood to build a camp on his land. He tries to throw them off but is arrested, prosecuted for harassing an ethnic minority, imprisoned and fined a further £100. While he is in jail the Gypsies cut down the rest of his wood and sell it on the black market for £100 cash. They also have a leaving Barbeque of squirrel and pheasant and depart leaving behind several tonnes of rubbish and asbestos sheeting. The forester on release is warned that failure to clear the fly tipped rubbish immediately at his own cost is an offence. He complains and is arrested for environmental pollution, breach of the peace and invoiced £12,000 plus VAT for safe disposal costs by a regulated government contractor.
Your assignment: How many times is the logger going to have to be arrested and fined before he realises that he is never going to make £20 profit by hard work, give up, sign onto the dole and live off the state for the rest of his life?

7. Teaching Maths In 2010
A logger doesn’t sell a lorry load of timber because he can’t get a loan to buy a new lorry because his bank has spent all his and their money on a derivative of securitised debt, related to sub-prime mortgages in Alabama and lost the lot, with only some government money left to pay a few million pound bonuses to their senior directors and the traders who made the biggest losses.
The logger struggles to pay the £1,200 road tax on his old lorry however, as it was built in the 1970s it no longer meets the emissions regulations and he is forced to scrap it.
Some Bulgarian loggers buy the lorry from the scrap merchant and put it back on the road. They undercut everyone on price for haulage and send their cash back home, while claiming unemployment for themselves and their relatives. If questioned they speak no English and it is easier to deport them at the governments expense. Following their holiday back home they return to the UK with different names and fresh girls and start again. The logger protests, is accused of being a bigoted racist and as his name is on the side of his old lorry he is forced to pay £1,500 registration fees as a gang master.
The Government borrows more money to pay more to the bankers as bonus's are not cheap. The parliamentarians feel they are missing out and claim the difference on expenses and allowances.
You do the maths.

8. Teaching Maths 2017
أ المسجل 20 تبيع حموله شاحنة من الخشب من اجل 100 دولار. صاحب تكلفة الانت‎=D 8ج من
الثمن


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 27, 2010 7:40 pm
User avatarBarely TolerantBarely TolerantJoined: Wed Aug 29, 2007 8:41 pmPosts: 491Location: Under a Tree
I would say win but I can feel the abyss opening



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PostPosted: Fri Jan 29, 2010 9:06 am
User avatarHighly IntolerantHighly IntolerantJoined: Tue Sep 07, 2004 9:35 amPosts: 1624Location: Chester, UK
Not A Horse Fluffer wrote:
HavocClaudia wrote:
Why, whhhy have I never seen this? Ordered it now though, as it looks like the greatest film ever made! Aah Japan!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NN0HVJ5tkIM


SALE!

I fucking love Japan.



Got it and watched it now :D Amazing, completely off its tits!



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PostPosted: Fri Feb 05, 2010 2:23 am
User avatarHighly IntolerantHighly IntolerantJoined: Sat Dec 31, 2005 6:51 pmPosts: 3161Location: Near Glasgow, Scotland
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...War mongering?


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 08, 2010 2:27 am
User avatarHighly IntolerantHighly IntolerantJoined: Sat Dec 31, 2005 6:51 pmPosts: 3161Location: Near Glasgow, Scotland
Does the fact that I grabbed Rou Reynold's balls when he was crowd-surfing make me gay? lol


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 08, 2010 8:10 pm
User avatarHighly IntolerantHighly IntolerantJoined: Sun Mar 04, 2007 2:13 pmPosts: 1140


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PostPosted: Wed Feb 10, 2010 9:32 am
User avatarHighly IntolerantHighly IntolerantJoined: Tue Sep 07, 2004 9:35 amPosts: 1624Location: Chester, UK
TheFamousEccles wrote:
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...War mongering?


:D



Ordered Bloodstock tickets :mrgreen:



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Belly Button: HavocClaudia: She singlehandedly* prevents this forum from transforming into a colossal Tetsuo shaped mound of phalluses, and has extremely trve metal taste.
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PostPosted: Fri Feb 12, 2010 12:16 pm
User avatarHighly IntolerantHighly IntolerantJoined: Thu Nov 11, 2004 7:36 pmPosts: 4277Location: Fighting crime
I can't afford to go to Bloodstock, but several of my friends are.
I have instructed them that if they do not see Sabbath I will beat them senseless.



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PostPosted: Sun Feb 14, 2010 10:05 am
User avatarHighly IntolerantHighly IntolerantJoined: Tue Sep 07, 2004 9:35 amPosts: 1624Location: Chester, UK
I just hope Dio is all better for it :?




uurgh am tired of being ill now, dunno what is up with me!



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Belly Button: HavocClaudia: She singlehandedly* prevents this forum from transforming into a colossal Tetsuo shaped mound of phalluses, and has extremely trve metal taste.
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PostPosted: Sun Feb 14, 2010 8:29 pm
User avatarHighly IntolerantHighly IntolerantJoined: Sat Dec 31, 2005 6:51 pmPosts: 3161Location: Near Glasgow, Scotland

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PostPosted: Sat Feb 20, 2010 11:06 pm
User avatarBarely TolerantBarely TolerantJoined: Wed Aug 29, 2007 8:41 pmPosts: 491Location: Under a Tree
Reality 0 Llanbobl 1



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PostPosted: Thu Feb 25, 2010 5:57 pm
User avatarBarely TolerantBarely TolerantJoined: Wed Aug 29, 2007 8:41 pmPosts: 491Location: Under a Tree
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 02, 2010 3:36 am
User avatarHighly IntolerantHighly IntolerantJoined: Sat Dec 31, 2005 6:51 pmPosts: 3161Location: Near Glasgow, Scotland

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