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<  The Idiot Zone  ~  Close encounters of the filthy kind

PostPosted: Fri Nov 28, 2008 10:48 pm Reply with quote
User avatarZero ToleranceZero ToleranceJoined: Sun Jul 09, 2006 7:18 pmPosts: 6315Location: Landscape XX
Upon entering work and visiting the toilets today fate dealt me a unwelcome surprise. After having a quick piss (nothing more) in one of the cubicles I flushed and was about to leave when suddenly the drainage gubbins around the urinal made a chthonic gurgling sound. I turned only to suddenly see the bog overflowing with unspeakably foul smelling brackish lumpy water. My feet were immediately and unavoidably soaked in other peoples digestive remains. As a final soul crushing gesture courtesy of the scatological gods a huge curling turd slithered out over the lip of the toilet seat and bumped into my left foot like the waterlogged remains of a viking funeral pyre.

I suppose I should give this thread a point. Please share any disgusting and skin-crawling experiences you might of had. Otherwise please send me your condolences.

:shock: POO WATER!


Last edited by Belly Button on Sun Nov 30, 2008 5:47 pm, edited 1 time in total.


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PostPosted: Sat Nov 29, 2008 10:48 am Reply with quote
User avatarHighly IntolerantHighly IntolerantJoined: Fri Feb 09, 2007 3:53 pmPosts: 1189Location: London
Today I'd just finished breakfast when I read Belly's story. It was horrible.



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PostPosted: Sat Nov 29, 2008 11:19 am Reply with quote
User avatarHighly IntolerantHighly IntolerantJoined: Sun Mar 04, 2007 2:13 pmPosts: 1195
Walked round bare foot in the garden, early in the morning when the grass is nice and crisp and bloody freezing. Its a nice feeling wakes you up.
My dog only poos in one spot so usually i'm safe but a crafty cat left a little present on my lawn. At first it was cold and hard and i thought nothing of it, then it gave way and it was still moderatly warm and sponge cake like inside :cry:



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PostPosted: Sat Nov 29, 2008 4:33 pm Reply with quote
User avatarHighly IntolerantHighly IntolerantJoined: Thu Nov 11, 2004 7:36 pmPosts: 4470Location: Fighting crime
When I was a plumber I was unfortunately blasted in the face with sewage.
Concentrated dirt, shit, piss, cum, wee, aborted babies', blood, etc

Swallowed some and was sick for a week.



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PostPosted: Sun Nov 30, 2008 5:45 pm Reply with quote
User avatarZero ToleranceZero ToleranceJoined: Sun Jul 09, 2006 7:18 pmPosts: 6315Location: Landscape XX
Best - Man wrote:
When I was a plumber I was unfortunately blasted in the face with sewage.
Concentrated dirt, shit, piss, cum, wee, aborted babies', blood, etc

Swallowed some and was sick for a week.


That deserves a fully-rounded yuck :lol:



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PostPosted: Sun Nov 30, 2008 7:51 pm Reply with quote
User avatarIntolerantIntolerantJoined: Mon Oct 11, 2004 10:27 pmPosts: 651Location: Behind you...
Having a 16 month old daughter, poo-related trauma is a daily occurrence for me so I'm far less squeamish than I used to be. Noice.

I do remember one time as a kid playing football in the park when a mate tripped and fell. He was heading straight for a hefty heap of dog turd when he suddenly stuck out his arms and managed to stop himself just in time, hands either side of the shite, head a few inches above. For the briefest of moments there was a look of relief on his face. Unfortunately the grass was really wet and a millisecond later his arms slipped out sideways from under him, thus giving him a face-full of shite. It's not often that I've wanted to laugh and vomit at the same time, but this was one such occasion :D



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PostPosted: Mon Dec 01, 2008 10:41 pm Reply with quote
User avatarZero ToleranceZero ToleranceJoined: Sun Jul 09, 2006 7:18 pmPosts: 6315Location: Landscape XX
Calum_Harvie wrote:
It's not often that I've wanted to laugh and vomit at the same time, but this was one such occasion :D


:lol:



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PostPosted: Sun Jun 28, 2009 7:56 pm Reply with quote
User avatarZero ToleranceZero ToleranceJoined: Sun Jul 09, 2006 7:18 pmPosts: 6315Location: Landscape XX
For a bet between me and my brother Jon I just microwaved some Haagen Dazs and drank it all in one go. I suddenly don't feel so hot.



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PostPosted: Mon Jun 29, 2009 9:53 am Reply with quote
User avatarHighly IntolerantHighly IntolerantJoined: Thu Nov 11, 2004 7:36 pmPosts: 4470Location: Fighting crime
Jesus Hell Fuck



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PostPosted: Tue Jun 30, 2009 8:07 am Reply with quote
User avatarZero ToleranceZero ToleranceJoined: Sun Jul 09, 2006 7:18 pmPosts: 6315Location: Landscape XX
Best - Man wrote:
Jesus Hell Fuck


Those 3 words put very odd images in my head Besty.



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PostPosted: Sat Aug 06, 2011 4:07 pm Reply with quote
User avatarHighly TolerantHighly TolerantJoined: Thu May 20, 2010 9:05 amPosts: 27Location: Hull
In Oslo (where I'm from), they have these free public toilets situated around town:

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On more than one occasion, I've walked in and it's looked like a goddamn horse has been in there to empty its bowels in the urinal.

When you're drunk, you make a game of it. See how much of the turd you can melt by pissing on it



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