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Zero Tolerance Magazine • View topic - Fake Article
 

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<  The Idiot Zone  ~  Fake Article

PostPosted: Wed Apr 11, 2007 8:40 am Reply with quote
User avatarHighly IntolerantHighly IntolerantJoined: Mon Oct 02, 2006 9:07 pmPosts: 3292
So... I had to write a completely made up article for my Media Studies class about a chosen political figure. Tell me if this is made up enough.

Tipper Gore, wife of Albert Gore, was mauled this Thursday by a crocodile while walking the beach in Miami. Just after 4:00pm Tipper was talking to a homeless man about his feet when the crocodile stealthily made its way towards Tipper and the homeless man.

Joseph Garbolodino, a local business man witnessed the event. "After I heard the scream I looked out from my hot dog cart and saw the crocodile. It had all of Mrs. Gore's stomach in its mouth. It was terrible."

The beach police responded promptly and killed the crocodile. "It wasn't easy. We don't carry guns you know."

Crocodiles are not native to Florida and, unlike Alligators live mainly in Africa. How such a crocodile got to Florida is still a complete mystery. One scientist, however, believes he has the answer. Sergio Fdung is a leading marine biologist at the Orlando City Petting Zoo and knows a thing or two about crocodiles. When asked how he thinks the crocodile, dubbed Dee Snee by locals, got to Florida he responded by saying, "Well... I think it swam. Normally it would not be possible for a crocodile to swim so far in such deep water however with such drastic climate changes taking place it might be possible."

The Miami police have a different answer to the mysterious crocodile dilema. "We busted a man the other day who was breeding these crocodiles illegally. Before we could arrest all the crocodiles, he freed them. This is probably a crocodile from that bunch."

Tipper Gore is well known for her role as a mental health advocate but is even better known for her 1985 campaign to remove obscenity from rock and pop music. Her group, the Parents Music Resource Center waged a particularly successful grass roots operation before taking the whole matter to congress. Tipper says that her campaign is not for censorship. "I don't believe that changing the intended form of a peice of art is censorship," Tipper said in a recent interview with Jack Chick.

Tipper Gore is currently in critical condition in a Miami Hospital. Her doctor, Jeff Walker said of her condition, "recovery is unlikely now. She is reeking of putrefaction. She has an empathological necroticism in the brain and her abdominal emanation is ruptured in purulence." When asked to put his answer in laymen's terms he said simply, "She needs some heartwork."

Husband Al Gore has refused all interviews at the moment. He has released one small press statement however. "I blame this attack on global warming."


Image

i was so compelled to make it an animation but i left it as it will be for my paper which includes about 17 pages of boring history and article research.



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PostPosted: Wed Apr 11, 2007 10:45 am Reply with quote
User avatarBarely TolerantBarely TolerantJoined: Thu Mar 08, 2007 11:10 pmPosts: 345Location: Liverpool



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PostPosted: Wed Apr 11, 2007 11:02 am Reply with quote
User avatarSpammerSpammerJoined: Tue Oct 12, 2004 2:08 amPosts: 622Location: Um Spirit World
You obviously not do research properly.
Crocodile IS native to Florida.

<sigh> Bloody Yanks, they not know what go on in own backyard.


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 11, 2007 11:04 am Reply with quote
User avatarSpammerSpammerJoined: Tue Oct 12, 2004 2:08 amPosts: 622Location: Um Spirit World
Bluuuuuuuuuuue Mouuuuuuuntain suggest you do animation to backing track of notorious deviant Elton John "Crocodile Rock" (Kiddie-bumming remix)


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 11, 2007 11:25 am Reply with quote
User avatarHighly IntolerantHighly IntolerantJoined: Sat Dec 31, 2005 6:51 pmPosts: 3217Location: Near Glasgow, Scotland
lol thats pretty good. hope whoever it is you're writing it for likes it as much as i did :D



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PostPosted: Wed Apr 11, 2007 11:31 am Reply with quote
User avatarSpammerSpammerJoined: Tue Oct 12, 2004 2:08 amPosts: 622Location: Um Spirit World
Bluuuuuue Mouuuntain sense naughty Orion get detention and maybe have to stay in at break-time.


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 11, 2007 1:27 pm Reply with quote
User avatarHighly TolerantHighly TolerantJoined: Sat Mar 17, 2007 12:58 pmPosts: 31Location: Worcestershire
:lol: nice carcass references


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 11, 2007 7:01 pm Reply with quote
User avatarHighly IntolerantHighly IntolerantJoined: Thu Mar 02, 2006 10:47 pmPosts: 2075Location: Gliese 581 c



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PostPosted: Wed Apr 11, 2007 8:28 pm Reply with quote
User avatarHighly IntolerantHighly IntolerantJoined: Mon Oct 02, 2006 9:07 pmPosts: 3292



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PostPosted: Thu Apr 12, 2007 1:12 am Reply with quote
User avatarSpammerSpammerJoined: Tue Oct 12, 2004 2:08 amPosts: 622Location: Um Spirit World
Try being clever when um gnarled old leathery reptile drag you under water. And Bluuuuuuuuue Mouuuuuntain not talking about ex-squaw. She no swim.

Bluuuuuuue Mouuuuuntain talk about Crocodylus acutus, it get you in seawater, when it swim to island for um holiday. Or something. Not like um gay alligator, too slow to catch cold. (Unless you playing silly twat on um nest, then you find out it move heep big fast for um pair boots, a belt and um handbag)


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 12, 2007 7:22 am Reply with quote
User avatarZero ToleranceZero ToleranceJoined: Sun Jul 09, 2006 7:18 pmPosts: 6315Location: Landscape XX



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PostPosted: Thu Apr 12, 2007 4:43 pm Reply with quote
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PostPosted: Thu Apr 12, 2007 6:01 pm Reply with quote
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