umm, right, fuck. yeah, ok then...

transorbatron

rising from the dirt in front of you like a tsunami of Keralan Prawn Curry is a beast of indescribable (btw, anyone who has issues with the word "indescribable" being used to describe something can - in the words of fluffy "I'#m sur eI'm right anyway. Fuck off" ) stench, writhing through multiple Transformations before settling on a perverted form reminiscent of A Powerpuff Girl riddled with cancerous sores...


next:

1. a blinking light
2. ragged newspaper
3. blu-tack[/b]

Blinky Paster
This bizarre energy creature attracts prey with tiny blinking disembodied lights, which in normally leaves IN a wavy trail of what is actually its airy urine. The beast itself looks like a faceless glowing version of Bill Oddie reading a newspaper. He ambushes pray by open the newspaper and unleashing a toorent of violent blu-tack that engulfs everything.

Next poster...

101 Sanwhiches (90% cheese & onion, 5% chicken tikka, 3% caviar, 2% BLT)
A Trivium fan
Gigantic feathery wings made of fine bone china

pathetix

a pale youth appears, dressed in hi-tops and stonewashed jeans with gigantic feathery wings made of fine bone china sprouting from its back. it mumbles about being a Trivium fan while discordant rock muzak drifts in & out of earshot before complaining that it has a tummy ache from eating 101 Sanwhiches (90% cheese & onion, 5% chicken tikka, 3% caviar, 2% BLT) & that it wants its mummy...

glastonbury

a giant toupee drops from the trees & summoning a glass piggy bank that is apparently buried in the earth. it then rides around firing rainbow blasts from it's split ends...

next:

1. a truckers cap
2. a crushed beer can
3. some raspberry jelly[/b]

Beer Jelly Mimic
This evil red gelatinous creature hides inside an unassuming beer can until nightfall, where it roams the land putting cursed trucker caps on its victims. Those burdened with the hats have the unnatural urge to make warm lager flavored jelly. They slowly become lardy, pallid ghouls with bags under their eyes, enthralled by the Beer Jelly Mimic.

next...
A mild nutty flavor on your tongue
Every single piece of art by Jackson Pollock
Hitler

mildly pollocks

a swirling storm of splattered canvases resembling every single piece of art by Jackson Pollock coalesces out of nowhere into a small ranting fascist who wipes paint off his Hitleresque hair & flings it into your face leaving a mild nutty flavor on your tongue

next:

a picture frame
a G string (from a guitar before you get the wrong/right idea)
tortellini


ummm, does this thread seem particularly deserted mr.b?

Novelty is fun. They are like sideshow threads.

Humming Avion Mammary Cancer

This is the most difficult sub boss that you will come across in the first four hours of the game. The gargantuan Hummingbirds will circle you if you got the ZT Magazine issue 001 from the Temple of the Steel Templars. Centuries of obssessive magazine collecting has rendered these bird insane. Watch out for their talons but more importantly, it is possible to be infected with breast cancer if the red humming bird swoops down on you and pecks you with its tumorous beak. If infected, you will have to spend money on chemo-therapy, only available from dr Van Drunen. Make sure you finish the side quest unlocking this character or you will die.

Next....
Tuberculosis
The Easter Bunny
A combination of Will Smith and Will Ferrel at a ferret lovers convention.[/b]