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Best - Man
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 Posted: Wed Feb 18, 2009 11:22 am |
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 Highly Intolerant Joined: Thu Nov 11, 2004 7:36 pmPosts: 4470Location: Fighting crime
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Here's one Bernard manning never said despite that he claimed to have a do at everyone
"This working class guy went into the kitchen to see if his wife was making the tea, and she was, so he beat the shit out of her."
What's the hardest part of a vegetable to swallow?
The wheelchair
What did the mute, deaf, blind, crippled, parilysed retarded orphan get for Christmas?
Cancer.
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The Best Superhero In The Entire Universe
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Belly Button
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| Posted: Wed Feb 18, 2009 11:51 am |
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 Zero Tolerance Joined: Sun Jul 09, 2006 7:18 pmPosts: 6315Location: Landscape XX
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Marcilla
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| Posted: Thu Feb 19, 2009 11:32 am |
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 Low Tolerance Joined: Wed Jul 11, 2007 11:25 amPosts: 139Location: Somerset,UK
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Patti & Selma enter the Quikie mart.
"Twenty Laramies and the same for my sister" croakes Patti.
"I am most terribly sorry ladies, I am unable to meet your smoking requirements at this time" Apu replies.
"What d'ya mean your out of laramies?" demands Selma.
"I mean I am out of cigarettes altogether" replies Apu. "My last customer was Ville Valo!"
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Mother Kali
All devouring
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Belly Button
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| Posted: Thu Feb 19, 2009 10:29 pm |
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| Zero ToleranceJoined: Sun Jul 09, 2006 7:18 pmPosts: 6315Location: Landscape XX
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TheFamousEccles
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| Posted: Sat Feb 21, 2009 11:46 am |
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 Highly IntolerantJoined: Sat Dec 31, 2005 6:51 pmPosts: 3217Location: Near Glasgow, Scotland
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What's better than winning Gold in the Special Olympics? Not being retarded. 
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"You can't put man in a room with no subwoofers." ― Mala |
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alexyork
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| Posted: Tue Mar 03, 2009 2:17 pm |
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 StaffJoined: Thu Jul 22, 2004 6:38 pmPosts: 1008Location: UK, London
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the old jokes are the worst:
What's the difference between a frog?
One of its legs is both the same.
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Farmer Jim and farmer Jiles are hanging out on the farm.
Farmer Jim says to farmer Jiles "I've a problem with me 'orse. What'll I do?"
Farmer Jiles says to farmer Jim "Oh? What's wrong we it?"
Farmer Jim says to farmer Jiles "I give it turpentine. And it died."
Farmer Jiles says to farmer Jim "Well, I gimme 'orse turpentine last week. And it died".
Farmer Jim says to farmer Jiles "Oh".
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Kid: "Mummy, will you still love me when I'm ugly?"
Mummy: "Yes, of course I do".
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Kid: "That shelf looks a bit dodgy, dad"
Dad: "Can't fall down, son. Nothing to hold it".
I take requests.
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Belly Button
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| Posted: Tue Mar 03, 2009 4:46 pm |
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| Zero ToleranceJoined: Sun Jul 09, 2006 7:18 pmPosts: 6315Location: Landscape XX
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What did we do to deserve those Alex?
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CultofAsh
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| Posted: Tue Mar 03, 2009 10:37 pm |
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| Low ToleranceJoined: Fri Jan 16, 2009 7:39 pmPosts: 150
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HavocClaudia
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| Posted: Thu May 14, 2009 11:58 pm |
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 Highly IntolerantJoined: Tue Sep 07, 2004 9:35 amPosts: 1668Location: Chester, UK
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Craig David is quitting his singing career to
join the British Olympic 2012 Archery team.
He's going to be their bow selector.
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DIAMANTHIAN - http://www.myspace.com/diamanthian
Belly Button: HavocClaudia: She singlehandedly* prevents this forum from transforming into a colossal Tetsuo shaped mound of phalluses, and has extremely trve metal taste. |
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Belly Button
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| Posted: Fri May 15, 2009 8:42 am |
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| Zero ToleranceJoined: Sun Jul 09, 2006 7:18 pmPosts: 6315Location: Landscape XX
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Calum_Harvie
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| Posted: Fri May 15, 2009 12:22 pm |
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 Intolerant Joined: Mon Oct 11, 2004 10:27 pmPosts: 651Location: Behind you...
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This should really become the official ZT "I'll get my coat" thread...
What kind of biscuits are good at flying?
Wee plain ones
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Satan, oscillate my metallic sonatas |
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CultofAsh
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| Posted: Fri May 15, 2009 6:11 pm |
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| Low ToleranceJoined: Fri Jan 16, 2009 7:39 pmPosts: 150
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I would post the joke about the wall but you'd never get over it.
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Belly Button
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| Posted: Sat May 16, 2009 8:51 am |
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| Zero ToleranceJoined: Sun Jul 09, 2006 7:18 pmPosts: 6315Location: Landscape XX
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Thrash Maniac/AYD
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| Posted: Sat May 16, 2009 6:18 pm |
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 Highly IntolerantJoined: Sun Sep 05, 2004 11:21 pmPosts: 1561Location: Kentish Town, London
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I belatedly bought my brother a Jade Goody calendar a couple months ago for his birthday, but was disappointed to see on it's arrival that it only went to March.
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Eat Sleep Drink Metal
Thrasherismus Loverasmus
Deathicus Fanaticus
Doomicus Worshippus
Blackist Hailist |
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alexyork
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| Posted: Sat May 16, 2009 11:30 pm |
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| StaffJoined: Thu Jul 22, 2004 6:38 pmPosts: 1008Location: UK, London
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