A (very fat) lad called Martin owes me money, if he doesn't give it back within a month I'm tempted to phone up his home number to speak to his mum, then start crying saying me and martin have had a bust-up... something like "I know I cheated, but...*sniff*....Tell him I'm sorry, tell him he's a bright star in a dark word.... There will never be another boy like martin, Mrs Kerr I love your son, and what we had was to special to throw away...."

Making his mum think he's gay is much more fun than killing him .

Heres a picture



Note the bulging cheeks and sausage-like fingers. You can also click on his fat face to and have a look at his gay band's website.

if you pronounce his band name with a lisp, it sounds like "Inner Thigh"

Some friends of mine stole a (clean) pair of his boxers, and all 3 of them got inside with plently of room. Then they put them over the front of a random ford astra, then ran away drunkenly.

Oh, and I bet martin keeps sugary snacks inbetween his folds , how else could he manage to weigh 24 stone when he's only 5foot 4, he must spend all his spare time eating.

[quote="not a horse fluffer"]
Is it just me, or is the lightswitch in the top right hand corner of his picture far far greasyer than a normal switch? It looks like it's covered in butter.quote]

hahahahahahahaa!!!