Have a few minutes to spare? Please answer the following extremely serious and important questions.

1 - You've angered a Wizard by delivering a Southern Fried Griffon bucket. He ordered BBQ Manticore you fool of a took! Because of that he has decided to transform you into a tapeworm. But look on the brightside, he's allowing you to pick anyone in the world to be your host. Who do you pick and why?

2 - Tom Cruise is impressed by your mad protool skills and hires you to join his Orthodox Scientology BM band. However he cannot come up with a name for said band. What would you name it?

3 - You are unlucky enough to walk into a random battle encounter with the terrifying IMMA CHARGIN MAH LAZER. All you have to defend yourself is a copy of the monster manual 3.5 in your bumbag / a shillejah within arms reach / OR a pair of very muddy rockports which you just took off because you could feel a small stone in the soles. However the ICML has just started charging his mighty breath weapon! You only have a few moments to pick one object! Which do you choose and why?

4 - At the secret treehouse hideout of the despicable fruit-bodied villain Orion, Best Man is attempting to stop his dastardly plan to overfish the Bearing Sea. However besty is not at his 'best' as a giant Opelio Crab and a titanic Wolf Fish batter and break him. Luckily however YOU (a famous superhero with special powers) were in the neighbourhood. Please describe your superhero name, clothing and powers and then explain how you are going to aid besty in defeating this mighty foe.

1 - You've angered a Wizard by delivering a Southern Fried Griffon bucket. He ordered BBQ Manticore you fool of a took! Because of that he has decided to transform you into a tapeworm. But look on the brightside, he's allowing you to pick anyone in the world to be your host. Who do you pick and why?

Paris Hilton - 'cos if i can make any thinner she will die horribly, horribly

2 - Tom Cruise is impressed by your mad protool skills and hires you to join his Orthodox Scientology BM band. However he cannot come up with a name for said band. What would you name it?

Job For A Hubbard

3 - You are unlucky enough to walk into a random battle encounter with the terrifying IMMA CHARGIN MAH LAZER. All you have to defend yourself is a copy of the monster manual 3.5 in your bumbag / a shillejah within arms reach / OR a pair of very muddy rockports which you just took off because you could feel a small stone in the soles. However the ICML has just started charging his mighty breath weapon! You only have a few moments to pick one object! Which do you choose and why?

MM 3.5 - 'cos it might choke the fucker & besides, MM 4 is out now anyway so 3.5 is rendered obsolete! mwah hahahahahahaha

4 - At the secret treehouse hideout of the despicable fruit-bodied villain Orion, Best Man is attempting to stop his dastardly plan to overfish the Bearing Sea. However besty is not at his 'best' as a giant Opelio Crab and a titanic Wolf Fish batter and break him. Luckily however YOU (a famous superhero with special powers) were in the neighbourhood. Please describe your superhero name, clothing and powers and then explain how you are going to aid besty in defeating this mighty foe.

Spatulor - the master of cutlery! dressed as a giant spoon thing i would disembowel the crab with a crab fork & slice the fish with a fish knife. Obviously...

Well I wasn't expecting to see this thread again

1 - You've angered a Wizard by delivering a Southern Fried Griffon bucket. He ordered BBQ Manticore you fool of a took! Because of that he has decided to transform you into a tapeworm. But look on the brightside, he's allowing you to pick anyone in the world to be your host. Who do you pick and why?


- My dad, he needs taking down the whole ladder, never mind a peg



2 - Tom Cruise is impressed by your mad protool skills and hires you to join his Orthodox Scientology BM band. However he cannot come up with a name for said band. What would you name it?


- I would turn down the offer as his views conflict with those of my Xenu worshipping Thetan oppressing brethren in the black metal band Kvlt (((Ov Xenu)))


3 - You are unlucky enough to walk into a random battle encounter with the terrifying IMMA CHARGIN MAH LAZER. All you have to defend yourself is a copy of the monster manual 3.5 in your bumbag / a shillejah within arms reach / OR a pair of very muddy rockports which you just took off because you could feel a small stone in the soles. However the ICML has just started charging his mighty breath weapon! You only have a few moments to pick one object! Which do you choose and why?

Muddy rockports, I can throw shoes pretty hard



4 - At the secret treehouse hideout of the despicable fruit-bodied villain Orion, Best Man is attempting to stop his dastardly plan to overfish the Bearing Sea. However besty is not at his 'best' as a giant Opelio Crab and a titanic Wolf Fish batter and break him. Luckily however YOU (a famous superhero with special powers) were in the neighbourhood. Please describe your superhero name, clothing and powers and then explain how you are going to aid besty in defeating this mighty foe.

The Real Best - Man, confident that my decoy doppleganger has drawn the Fish and Crab away I break in and dispatch Orion only to discover that the whole bollocksy operation has been organised by that prick Bastard - Man from the start and am trapped in his Chimney Displacement Field.

As I'm sure you remember, Chimneys are my one weakness.

1 - You've angered a Wizard by delivering a Southern Fried Griffon bucket. He ordered BBQ Manticore you fool of a took! Because of that he has decided to transform you into a tapeworm. But look on the brightside, he's allowing you to pick anyone in the world to be your host. Who do you pick and why?

Jade Goody, lets make her life even worse

2 - Tom Cruise is impressed by your mad protool skills and hires you to join his Orthodox Scientology BM band. However he cannot come up with a name for said band. What would you name it?

Faggots United

3 - You are unlucky enough to walk into a random battle encounter with the terrifying IMMA CHARGIN MAH LAZER. All you have to defend yourself is a copy of the monster manual 3.5 in your bumbag / a shillejah within arms reach / OR a pair of very muddy rockports which you just took off because you could feel a small stone in the soles. However the ICML has just started charging his mighty breath weapon! You only have a few moments to pick one object! Which do you choose and why?

Rockports, cause everyone knows they give you an invinsible ned (ok, chav for all you english ) barrier against ICMLs.

4 - At the secret treehouse hideout of the despicable fruit-bodied villain Orion, Best Man is attempting to stop his dastardly plan to overfish the Bearing Sea. However besty is not at his 'best' as a giant Opelio Crab and a titanic Wolf Fish batter and break him. Luckily however YOU (a famous superhero with special powers) were in the neighbourhood. Please describe your superhero name, clothing and powers and then explain how you are going to aid besty in defeating this mighty foe.

The Famous Eccles
A big tshirt with a chronic leaf on it and clown trousers and shoes
Scare off the foe with my amazing powers of brilliantly stupid, yet somehow witty, banter.

my inner bastard keeps getting clumped round the ear by my outer bastard for being a pussy...

Twenty minutes after I made that post I phoned my dad and we met in town for lunch.
I do get on with my dad, he's just a bit of a prick, Belly

Ach I'm bored enough haha

1 - Some sort of official cheese taster, cos I am addicted!

2 - A Few Good Blast Beats

3 - Rockports as I have no idea what the hell the other two are and may as well take my chance with the shoes in some sort of throwing capacity!

4 - Please describe your CRANGOR the MAGNIFICENT, I wear lycra like all super heroes should and my powers are the ability to produce cooked spaghetti through my nose (like an Italian Spiderman) and flying as flying is cool, I would aid besty in defeating the mighty foe by PASTA ASPHYXIATION!!!!