Zero Tolerance Magazine • View topic - When metal rules the world
 

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<  Non-music  ~  When metal rules the world

PostPosted: Mon Feb 08, 2010 11:32 am Reply with quote
User avatarHighly IntolerantHighly IntolerantJoined: Thu Nov 11, 2004 7:36 pmPosts: 4470Location: Fighting crime
- Emergency services number will now be 666
- Ambulances will be made to look like the train from the cover of Motorhead's Orgasmatron
- Dec 24th is repurposed. Lemmy's birthday is cooler than Christmas Eve
- America will be considered an English colony again so we can go on saying all the best bands are British.
- Seasons In The Abyss is the new national anthem (Album, not the song)
- All wars will be fought by Noise Marines
- Instead of the Queen's speech we get Eric Adams from Manowar telling you what YOU should do next year to combat false metal.
- Brian Blessed and Christopher Lee to compose the OTHER national anthem.
- Bank notes reprinted to have members of Black Sabbath on them.
- Statue of Liberty replaced with pyramid from the cover of iron maiden's Powerslave


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 09, 2010 4:04 pm Reply with quote
User avatarZero ToleranceZero ToleranceJoined: Sun Jul 09, 2006 7:18 pmPosts: 6315Location: Landscape XX
-- Instead of ASBO's, offenders are forced to wear Alchemy Gothic shirts.
-- Kylie Minoise would represent us for Eurovision every year.
-- Everyone on this forum would be sainted.
-- Deathcore bands would be given a tax discount if they could individually maintain suitably intricate/difficult/annoying/massive hairstyles.
-- All grindcore bands would be obliged to perform at least one Tiny Tim cover during a performance/on record.
-- Football would go kvlt. Corpsepainted teams run around mist laden forests in full black metal garb soundtracked by Deipago. It would be like bloodbowl, and actually entertaining to watch... :P
-- Howard Brown would front Deicide. Glenn Benton would in turn be relegated to being Halifax's public face.
-- David Tibet would never want for anything ever again. Money, food, bed, women, etc.



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PostPosted: Tue Apr 20, 2010 3:00 pm Reply with quote
User avatarZero ToleranceZero ToleranceJoined: Sun Jul 09, 2006 7:18 pmPosts: 6315Location: Landscape XX
Why did this thread flop? The first two posts were 100% pure win.



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