What fictional characters make you want throw babies into rivers and punch puppies? Assuming that is if like me you actually have so little to do with your time that you can develop a deep seated hatred for someone who isn't real.


Riker was the only character from TNG that I couldn't abide watching without wanting to vomit out of sheer anger (expect for Deana Troi, who was basically Mystic Meg in space... and that bitch whatsherface who replaced Beverly Crusher for a while as the ships doctor and kept putting Data down for not being a real human - she can fuck off too!)
William Frakes like his long lost Indian brother Jimi Harkishin (aka Dev Alahan, whom i've covered in an older thread) is capable of pulling a wide plethora of facial expressions and accents that no human being has EVER used. Or ever will.
Also, whats the deal with this '' business he seems to be engaged with? He does it everywhere. On the bridge, offworld, around ladies at inappropiate moments. Stand like a normal person you arsebag! Your on a spaceship not a pea green ocean going vessal!

Well what about you? Who do you hate that doesn't actually exist in real life?

Angelo is the only character from Dragon Quest that makes me want to actively punch my TV. So you were an orphan were you? Your a ladies man are you? Your a member of force of super elite knights are you? HOW FECKING ORIGINAL!!! Its not as if about 97 Bajizillion anime/computer game/fantasy characters have that background story! He contributes nothing useful to the dialogue, what with him being to busy pointing out how attracted he is to every female we come across. Sometimes he doesn't even bother with pretense of flowery poetics either. At one point in the game he even blatantly states "looking at attractive women is a pastime of mine" Whatever! You creepy white foppy haired fuck! (white hair, thats REALLY original )


Also, what the fuck is this about. It MIGHT paralyze you opponents? Go away! [/charliebrooker]

Anyone from Hollyoaks, Coronation Street, any Australian soap and... well, fuck it, any soap opera character. Also anyone in a vampire or "society" based (Gossip Girl etc) television program.

As far as sci-fi goes, I could never stand Data myself.

And any character Chris Tucker has or ever will play. Ever.

Does Michael Buble count? I know he's technically not fictional, but he has no soul.

I suppose it was inevitable in an anime series full of brilliant characters (the series being Gurren Lagann) that at least character would be a total jeff. Rossiu 'Fuckentwat' Adai is basically the futures equivelant of a hardcore Protestant. I suppose thats what I get for watching anime. Everybody knows that ponytails drain men of all charisma and lovableness... except Thrash for some reason, who seems to be immune from a ponytails palpable hatefulness and retains his strokably soft loveliness.



[Belly waits for Besty and Fluffer to lambast him mercilessly for his lack of manliness]

Any character played by Catherine Tate that wasn't in Doctor Who? Also any character by Matt Lucas that wasn't in Shooting Stars and ANY character played by David 'looks like a sex offender' Walliams!

Ecklie and Hodges (CSI)
Garak (DS9)
Jonathan Creek
Anyone played by Sheridan Smith
Everyone but Rob Brydon's character in Gavin & Stacey
Hermes (Futurama)
Any Will Smith character since the Fresh Prince.

Too many to name

Almost every single character in almost every single anime made since the year 1994, just to get my priorities clear.

If anyone says Spongebob Squarepants I'm firing them from Metal.

He ain't lying, he has the power...